Playing Hardball and Stepping Back

Thursday, May 24, 2012

I wrote this post a few years back, little did I know that I would have the opportunity to "step back" year after year with my children as they continue to face new challenges and difficulties.  I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it for you.

My eight year old plays little league baseball and tonight he played third base.  Late in the game, he went for a line drive and the ball jumped up and hit him square in the mouth.  He went down, holding his face as the crowd made an audible, “uhhhhh”.

Like all moms, my first instinct was to run to my son and comfort him.  I wanted nothing more than to get him into my lap with his legs crossed to one side and hold him like I did when he was three years old with his head cupped in my hand on my shoulder.  But, he is eight now, so I remained in my chair, waiting……….  Tonight, my motherly instincts told me that it is time to step back a little.  Time to let the coaches (one of which is his Dad) tend to him and let him try to handle it on his own.   

So, I sat there in my chair, but in my head I screamed “run over there, no- stay here, is he OK?  Go see, no… he’s getting to be a big boy now, don’t go”.  I am pretty sure my face looked like one from a scary movie with a contorted mouth, terrified eyes and a bead of sweat collecting on my forehead.  But, there I sat as my son was huddled on the ground with his dad walking toward him.  

Where’s my instruction manual? I need an emergency reference to Chapter 16:“Mom’s Instructions on How to Handle Injuries(minor) for an Eight Year Old Boy Playing Hard Ball Baseball For the First Year.  Go/no go Criteria”

But, we all know that we don’t have that manual.  We have to do our best, trust our instincts and do a lot of praying.  It took just about all I had not to run over to my son tonight as the coaches and his teammates were standing around him.  I knew that it is time for him to start learning to shake it off so I sat there in my fold-up chair with my crocked, horror movie face.  As I waited for the thumbs up from my husband, my stomach was turning and I felt like I needed to throw up.  After about 15 hours (or so it seemed) the team went back to their places, and he got up and continued to play. 

As my son played out the rest of the game, tears remained in my eyes.  I thought of a scene in the Ray Charles movie when he first lost his sight as a young child.  His mother saw him fall, but did not run to his rescue.  Instead, she stood there and watched him struggles to get up, calling out her name.  Because she deeply loved her son, she understood the need to prepare him for the difficulties that lie ahead.  Her first instinct, like my own, was to run.  Because she loved him more than anything, however, she stood there watching him struggle to get up in his very dark world.  The mother of Ray Charles knew that he felt alone and wanted the comfort that only his mother could bring.  Instead of listening to her emotions, she trusted her instincts to strengthen her son to prepare him for the difficult road that lie ahead.  As he finally got his footing and stood up, Ray Charles realized that he could do it on his own. 

In the baseball game, my son’s lip got bigger and bigger the look of pain remained in his tender brown eyes.  Watching him work through it, I felt proud of the young man he is becoming.  As hard as it is to step back a little, I know it is time.  Time to let him take on some of the challenges of life with the knowledge that I am always there for him.

Tonight, and each and every day, I thank God for blessing me with the opportunity to watch my children grow.  I’ll probably won’t have the opportunity to tell my son that I felt like throwing up when I saw him go down during the game.  But, after the game when his big brown eyes looked up at me, his big peach cheeks stained by tears outlined by a light brown fine dust from the field dust, I did say “I am proud of you my son.  Way to stay in the game”. 

In my heart, I understand that this is the first time we will have to bear the tears and challenge of a baseball in the mouth.  This time it is a fat lip, next time it could be a bone and some day it may be a broken heart.  Thank you Lord for growing both my son and me and for allowing me to walk the amazing journey of motherhood.

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Cell Phones and our Kids

Friday, March 02, 2012

I was at lunch with a group of friends the other day and we started talking about our kids and their cell phones.  We were asking how much we should regulate their use, should we read their texts, and how do we handle phones when friends are over.  I think that the answers to these questions depend on the ages our our children for example, what is right with my eleven year old, might not work for my fourteen year old. Or maybe not?

So, what are the right answers? I really don't know so I am going to do what I always do when I need advice, ask you!  Please click on this link and if you have a second, weigh in on the two questions I ask in the video by clicking on "comments" below.  Thank you for your thoughts and advice!

More soon,

Kristen

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We love our Friends! Homework for Maple Grove MOPS

Friday, February 10, 2012

Hello Maple Grove Evangelical Free MOPS Group!  I am really looking forward to spending some time with you guys next month. We are going to talk about relationships.  We cherish our friends and the time we spend with them because God made us for relationship with Him and with others.  Our friends have a huge impact on how we feel and see the world around us.  We are strengthened by healthy friendships and can be drained by unhealthy ones that creep into our lives.  So next month, we will focus on what it takes to be nourished our friends (which is especially important when we are busy caring for young children!) 

To help you get the most of out of our time together, I'd like to ask you to watch a two minute video that has a couple of things for you to think about.  Watch video now.

If you have questions or specifics that you would like to cover, please send me an email and I will do my best to address it in March.  Send Kristen my question.

Until then, blessings to you!

Kristen

”Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)

Interested in hearing more about the Maple Grove Evangelical Free MOPS group? Email Rachel Seifert at maplegrovemops@gmail.com.

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