"It is not good for man to be alone" Genesis 2:18

Thursday, March 22, 2012

God made us for relationships with Him and with others. In Genesis 2:18 God says, “It is not good for man to be alone”. Even though God blessed Adam with all of creation and let him live in a beautiful garden in direct contact with God, he was still lonely. God knew Adam needed human companionship, so he created Eve. Like Adam, without relationships in our life, we feel empty. In Changes that Heal, Dr. Henry Cloud suggests that “without a solid, bonded relationship, the human soul will become mired in psychological and emotional problems. The soul cannot prosper without being connected to others. No matter what characteristics we possess, or what accomplishments we amass, without solid emotional connectedness, without bonding to God and other humans, we will suffer sickness of the soul” (Cloud 1994). This “sickness of the soul” can result in anxiety, depression, insomnia, weight loss or gain, and a host of other psychological and physical problems.

So, we need our friends and want relationships in our lives.  But, as mothers we have so many demands on our time and energy.  We are blessed with a full schedule but we don't always prioritize our needs.  Seasons of life dictate how much time we can spend with friends and some seasons are busier than others.   What season of life are you in?  How often you are able to spend time with friends and do you plan for two to three social activities a week with friends that nourish you (time with your husband counts)?  What is your greatest challenge to spending as much time as you would like with your friends?

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Small Mirrors

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Gagarin Cosmonaut Training Center, a small military base outside Moscow, is the core of the Russian Space Program’s Cosmonaut Training. Surrounded by intense natural beauty and man-made walls, the isolated city also called Star City cannot be found on maps. When the US Space Program joined forces with the Russians in the mid- 1990s, two astronauts and three NASA representatives were sent to Start City to prepare to fly a US astronaut on-board the Russian Mir Space Station. I was fortunate to be one of those people.  The assignment was considered “hardship” due to our work-load and the isolation. The isolation component was due to the language barrier because although I had been given daily private Russian language training, my Russian at that point was conversational at best. I could ask for a cup of coffee, but wasn’t able to communicate my real feelings or share intellectual ideas. 

To make sure our stress remained at healthy levels, our team has the opportunity to talk with NASA psychiatrist every few months.  When it was my turn to talk to the doctor, I asked why we were under such close evaluation. His response changed my understanding of relationships and the importance of being connected with other people.  “We understand who we are by who we are with”, he said. “The people around us are like small mirrors, and their reflection defines who we understand ourselves to be.  When we tell a joke and others laugh, we understand ourselves to be funny. When we share emotions and they are reflected back as OK, we feel “normal”. We understand that we are “good”, “bad” or “normal” through the energy and emotion that other people send back to us. A glance from someone in the grocery store can say that we are attractive; a smile from someone on the street tells us that we look good that day. Positive feedback from our boss or coworkers can tell us that we are doing well in the work environment. All of those small reflections add up to how we feel about who we are. When you take them away, or lose the ability to communicate because of a language barrier, it is difficult to stay strong and steady”.  

Over the last fifteen years, I have relied on this notion and expanded it's meaning to understand how much the people around me impact my heart and soul and talk about it often in my speaking engagements.  I write about it now as I am preparing a talk for a group moms about relationships.  I thought I'd ask you to think about how the people you spend the most time with are reflecting back to you.  What are they saying to you, how are they reacting to your thoughts and emotions? At the same time, what are you reflecting back to those you love and care about? Are you lifting them up and nourishing them?

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. " Proverbs 4:23 NIV

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We love our Friends! Homework for Maple Grove MOPS

Friday, February 10, 2012

Hello Maple Grove Evangelical Free MOPS Group!  I am really looking forward to spending some time with you guys next month. We are going to talk about relationships.  We cherish our friends and the time we spend with them because God made us for relationship with Him and with others.  Our friends have a huge impact on how we feel and see the world around us.  We are strengthened by healthy friendships and can be drained by unhealthy ones that creep into our lives.  So next month, we will focus on what it takes to be nourished our friends (which is especially important when we are busy caring for young children!) 

To help you get the most of out of our time together, I'd like to ask you to watch a two minute video that has a couple of things for you to think about.  Watch video now.

If you have questions or specifics that you would like to cover, please send me an email and I will do my best to address it in March.  Send Kristen my question.

Until then, blessings to you!

Kristen

”Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)

Interested in hearing more about the Maple Grove Evangelical Free MOPS group? Email Rachel Seifert at maplegrovemops@gmail.com.

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